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Goodbye My Lover, Goodbye My Friend
My therapist asked me last month when I wanted to come in again. She knew I didn’t need her as much, and I was happy to tell her 8 weeks instead of 4 - not only because it’ll same me funds, but because I really don’t need her as much! This will be the first month since January that I haven’t seen her (sometimes twice a month), and quite honestly, I feel very good about it. I simply don’t need her except for medication. If I hadn’t made friends - which sounds pitiful, but it’s freaking HARD when you don’t work!!! - I’d miss her, but really, I’m fine with this new arrangement. I’m going to see how long she’ll let me go without visiting.
I will probably be posting on my blog more regularly now because: A.) I have to get my thoughts out. You’ll notice how sporadic my posts were when I was seeing her 1-2 times per month; B.) I have a LOT going on right now and even more going on in the near future; and C.) I want to keep my writing skills (or lack thereof) keen and improving.
Because I tried to make this blog a learning experience for me and everyone who reads it, and my blog will now likely take the place of my therapist with whom I simply vent or give mundane details of my comparatively boring-ass life, I might make a new blog which I post to more often and more about those mundane details than epiphanies and insights. I’ve bought several journal apps for my iPad, but to be perfectly honest, I need an audience! Regardless of how many or how few of you there are now-a-days, you are all my 1 psychiatrist. You can choose to read thoroughly, skim, or simply skip - but the fact will always remain: I told you. In my mind, you’re all entirely enthralled, waiting for your next fix on the edge of your seats, reacting with giddy excitement when you see an unfamiliar post or a number in your RSS reader by the name of my blog. As long as I have imagination, I don’t want an iPad journal. However, I will probably be archiving this into the Internet eternity (or so long as Tumblr exists), and making a new one that my real-life friends can peruse. That means I can’t talk about them anymore! That also means, my dear e-friends, that you won’t have the privilege of partaking in my experiences. I share much too much personal info in a personal, aimless blog for strangers to see, as friendly as you might be.
This blog, and every blog I’ve had since around 2000, has been my little secret. A secret I share only with my invisible friends. It’s cathartic and liberating, but I need to know real people are really reading my revealing ramblings. (I’m in an alliteration mood.)
This post will probably be my first foray into my new blogging life. I’ll probably use Word Press and get my own domain. It won’t be Mandy’s Musings anymore because if I know you, and I do, you’ll find me. If you are seriously that interested in my dull life, and are that desperate, I’m sure you’ll find me out there somewhere.
(Listen to the following song for full dramatic affect.)
